I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
