OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We need to feng shui this bitch.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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