Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize