"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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