Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Someone came in the potted fern
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
