He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize