lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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