I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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