I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
