i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
