I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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