i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
PANTIES FOUND
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
