I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
