More tranny stories later!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
