thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize