it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she looked like the before picture.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
