please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
