He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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