jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
