Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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