3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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