Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
