Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
