was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
