found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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