I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just googled if crying burns calories
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Found your dick twin last night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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