Nicole vs. Life
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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