Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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