Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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