i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
