why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
