Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
