That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
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i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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