i just wanna soil my oats bro
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
