you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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