making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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