So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
