Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
