thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
