I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
