? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
