I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
