Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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