I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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