he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
