your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
