dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
