i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
