Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
