K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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