I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize