I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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