Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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