Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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