careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
