Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I touched a dick in church today
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
