How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize