He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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