but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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