Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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