Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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