I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
