you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
