So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize