It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
thus making me awesome and them whores
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
