dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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