I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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