is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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