Do you still have your period?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
