hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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