so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
