At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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